Wtf. I don't get it.

K. So I picked up some juice plus complete packets yesterday from a friend. The plan is to do meal replacement at dinner time with them 3x a week. I still can't figure out why I keep eating so much late when I'm not hungry. Then I just feel sick, fat and bloated. Since juice plus complete has 8g of fiber I'm hoping it will help curb it and keep me regular too. Plus 18g of protein and then mix w whole milk some sugar and a little more vanilla and ice if I want it cold. I think if I make it like a Frappuccino then I will drink it slower and it will fill me up faster. I had half a packet AFTER dinner for some stupid reason last night. Made me sick I was so full. But I got brain freeze several times so I drank it slow. Then I gotta get back on iron supplement too. I think its hurting me to not be on it. Its part of perimenopause for boobs to be sore. But its been 5 days!! I already get plenty of vitamin D and B. Iron is the one I stopped taking recently because i keep forgetting to pack it in the back and forth. I start water polo on August 10th. I have so much to do between now and then!! 10 pounds needs to come off before that!!

Some good and bad changes

Well I've pooped 4 mornings in a row!! I know! Gross right?! Well it used to be like that every day. Now I'm lucky if its 2x a week. Not good when ur trying to lose weight. I'm hoping it will start curbing the late food cravings cuz its killing me. I don't even feel like I eat that much but I'm still getting fatter even though I'm killing myself as far as working out goes. Yesterday I went to yoga I  the morning. I was so bloated and my leg hurt so bad it was one of the worst sessions I have had in years. Couldn't balance to save my life either. Then I went to the gym for about 45 to 60 minutes cuz I didnt feel like I got to work out my core at yoga cuz I felt so bad. Then I surfed boneyard with rick for about an hour in the late afternoon. So you figure like 3 hours or more I worked out yesterday. And it's been like that so much lately. Again....I don't need the food late. I'm not hungry. Its like my body says to do it because something is off. Not sure if its fiber or iron or what but its killing me. Doesnt matter how strong I am if I'm fat. And I hate it. I knew there would be struggles but this is ridiculous. Now looking at replacing half my dinner with a juice plus protein shake just to help with vitamins and fiber late in the day since I struggle the most then. We will see if that helps. I haven't had a down day for 2 weeks. I should be so ripped for me at this point. Its been 2 months and I can tell how much stronger I am and I can see some of it. But its under all this flab so makes no difference. Wtf.

Small victories

A small victory....I pooped again this morning! Haha gross I know. Seems to go in waves. My system still needs more fiber and I know that's the big problem right now. Its hard to get fresh greens in me with the back and forth schedule. They just don't travel well. I'm probably going to start on juice plus complete daily as a workout recovery. It has fiber in it so hoping that will help. Gonna pick some up tomorrow. I think its gonna cost 40 a month. We will see how long I can afford it. Otherwise the fiber gummy ez at costco are 20 or 25 bucks for a big thing of 2 that have 5 grams of fiber. I should be getting 30 a day.
Yesterday was crazy. I waited 2 hours at boneyard for rick to show up after he said 45min. It was kinda sloppy but still fun. I had a lady from KION interview me about the shark attack on mick fanning. That was kinda cool. They ended up using an interview from Peter mel instead but since he was there and on the ski that rescued him I think that's a much better use of airtime than me.
Then when I walked redley at 8pm when it cooled off some....we got to via paraiso and 2 brown standard poodles came running up. No owners no leashes and no tags!!! I didn't know what to do cuz if they had tags I couldve called the owner. They wanted to play with redley! I thought someone in the park owned them cuz I thought I heard them get called cuz then they ran off. But when I went to go go down the hill the came running to us again! A couple on that side came out and tried to help but it turns out they didn't run from me because of redley.  They ran from the husband. I was just gonna keep walking but then I realized if I left they would be outside in the dark and anything could happen at that point. I asked the husband where he past saw them and went that way and started listening for barking. Sure enough I found them a few blocks later. Luckily a lady got them and her husband went to get leashes. I stayed put cuz they weren't afraid of redley and he seemed to calm them down. They had a yard to keep them in and we're gonna call PD for help. They were both unfixed. A male and female. People don't seem to understand that unfixed dogs tend to roam. I would say 90% or more of all the loose ones I've come across were all unfixed!
Then when I got back to the high school (2 blocks from moms) a woman in an SUV pulls over to me (I thought she was gonna ask about the dogs for sure) and asked if I had seen a blonde girl walking a German Shepherd!  Which I hadnt. She just drove off after that. I have no idea how old the girl was or how long she had been missing. I guess she wasn't that worried or she wouldve told me more....or at least I would hope she would.
Crazy day.
Almost forgot. I was fine until after a light dinner but again...I think fiber is the issue. My body keeps wanting me to eat stuff that's going to get my system moving. Sugar seems to be its next option. Not sure why. I ate a bunch of trader joe cookie butter which has ginger in it. Not sure if that's why I seek to crave it but I do. Anyway...hoping to have that changed this week!

Moving right along

Well. Its hot as hell. Friday night/saturday morning we had the craziest thunder I can remember having! The porpoises dogs freaked out. Mom brought chloe in to me at 430 am cuz she was crying. Redley barked at it every time. It rained for about 2 hours early on and then stopped. Dan Diego got slammed with it though. By mid day it got very warm on saturday.
I surfed boneyard for 2 and a half hours and hung out for 30min or so. Me rick chenoa kayne garrett and 2 other guys were all out. It was fun again. Had a big breakfast but then missed lunch cuz I was in the water. Had burger and fries for dinner. Had a little bit of a hard time after dinner probably cuz I haven't pooped in like a week and I know its building up. Gotta get some fiber gummy ez asap. Also gonna start on juice plus complete again too I think. We will see. I'm noticing a difference in my body though so hoping that's a good sign. I definitely don't eat as much or as often when I get to exercise regularly.  Especially when I get to surf. Today will be 6 days in a row of surfing which might be the most days in a row since my car accident last april. Crazy to think about it that way. I'm starting to think cut back on the size of meals too. Like I found I don't need as much breakfast as what I'd was eating but I need more lunch and less dinner. I've known for a long time that m6 body does better when lunch is my big meal. Especially if I eat it around 1 or 2. Its late enough where I'm still kinda full for dinner so I don't eat as much. Oh! And as disturbing as it is, I finally pooped this morning. I can still tell there's more in there but it's as start!!

Much better but still one problem

Been doing really well the last few days. I finally got to surf!  Surfed boneyard the last 4 days in a row! Been super fun. Little grinding barrels of joy! Rick mustve gotten 25 barrels 2 days ago. It was nuts! I just laughed. Yesterday wasn't quite as good but still really fun. I've been doing double duty every day. I was in the weight room and swam wednesday and thursday and then surfed for an hour or so in the evening w Bryan and Rick. Then friday I went to the weight room and swam then went straight to boneyard and surfed for 2 hours! I was only at the gym for a little over an hour so surfing wasn't too much but I was still exhausted afterwards. But I slept like crap for some reason.
Yesterday,  saturday, I went to yoga at 8am. Then surf checked. Boneyard needed higher tide. Then went to asilomar and there was an older man who went full speed into a car that was stopped and pulled over on the wrong side of the road and in the bike lane. I stayed and made sure the ambulance and fire came. He didn't know where he was or what had happened. He went head first into the back window and smashed all the tail lights. I hope he will be okay. Good thing he had a helmet on. I think we take for granted how badly you can get injured on a bike. You can go 40 mph and wreck and all u have on is a helmet. Motorcycle riders usually have at least some protective gear on but not enough. Thats why my family won't let me have one. Anyway, I went back to surf boneyard at 12:30. Stayed out for about 2 and a half hours. Rick, Bryan, garrett, chenoa, kayne were all there. Bryan and garrett surfed uulies.  Chenoa went over there for awhile too. Kayne finally got to surf for the first time in a month. Kai and Wayne showed up right before we paddled out. Kayne stayed out for awhile with Kai so he wasn't by himself. It was nice to hang out with everyone again. Its been awhile.
So the one thing I'm struggling with as far as taking the weight off is pooping. I know I know...its gross and TMI, but.....its to a key part of health and weight loss. Even though I'm on a stimulant it's not working.  I'm considering taking fiber therapy. Right now I'm going once or twice a week which is very abnormal for me. Normal would be once or twice a day. Plus when I'm regular I lose weight faster. I can tell the difference in my body already. Its been 4 weeks. Hoping I can get regular and lose the rest!

Repeat repeat repeat

Double duty yesterday and today. Not sure it counts that way but yesterday I went to yoga and then surfed boneyard with Bryan for an hour last night. Super fun inside small bowly ones. Today I went to the gym for an hour and then swam and then surfed boneyard with Rick and  Bryan for about an hour and a half tonight. Super fun again. Less size but a little more juice. Couple of kooks out both nights but they werent getting any anyway. I think they just see how much fun we are having and how many waves we get and they just come out even if they have no idea what they are doing!

Starting again. ...I guess.

So saturday was supposed to be my cheat day (it's Thursday today). Went out to dinner and had dessert. Was over full but not horribly.  I couldn't keep my 3 yes open all weekend. I thought maybe I just over did exercise last week and it was my bodies way of revolting but I don't think so. The people we were behind at the concert friday night were smoking a weird smelling weed. I'm now wondering if it was hash or something stronger than what the kids usually smoke around here. I got so many face fulls of it that I'm wondering if I got sick from it. I had a little sore throat and runny nose but that couldve just been from yelling at the concert plus the smoke plus swimming. The pool always messes up my sinuses. I also have another ear infection. Gotta remember to ask the doc for more ear drops.
Anyway....I could not stay awake and I was in so much pain that I didn't want to. My head felt like it weighed 200 pounds! It was killing my shoulders and neck! So I should've just stayed in bed but I didnt. I just kept drifting off wherever I was.
Monday I was a little better but I could still tell I wasn't great so I took monday off too. Problem is my eating really sucked until Tuesday. The only thing that tasted good were coconut popsicles. I think I ate 3 boxes of them in 3 days. 4 in each  box. 180 calories each. But I ate food too is the problem. Oy.
So tuesday I started again. Went to the gym by myself.  Wednesday I went to yoga at 9am, surfed with Bryan (yay! I finally got to surf! Its been almost 3 weeks!) We surfed boneyard for at hour at 7pm. Lots of little fun waves. Then I walked redley when I got back 5 moms for 30min. Not sure if I couldn't sleep cuz its did too much late or what but I was up and down all night. I also need to get back in the habit of having a lollipop which is lighter on calories instead of snacks. Also need to find a source of greens that's easy other than frozen veggies. But doing okay. I can tell my body is doing better but I still feel fat and my clothes are still tight. Again..I've never been able to do this with out help via weight loss meds. Plus my age and body and meds are making my metabolism suck ass. Boo. I'm in the gym today and hoping to surf a little again later. Will go to yoga tomorrow.

Down day/cheat day

Its saturday. I couldve slept all day. I could not stay awake to save my life. Between busting my ass at the gym and yoga all week...the concert was my body's last straw. Being up til 2am and screaming til 1230 at the top of my lungs was it. Layed in the sun for an hour or so and read a magazine I between drifting off. Only real Bummer is that rick called and said surf was really fun down the coast but they were already half way there and I couldn't get bryan or dan to go with me. I'm just not comfortable walking the path by myself. The drive doesn't bother me just the path holding all my gear. I'm sure I would be fine but I know its safer not to be by myself. I hope they will tak me tomorrow.
Carol and I went to dinner at Phil fish market. Luckily we went early so the link e wasn't bad at all. We had one of the specials. Blackened ahi, prawns and crab w a spicy and sweet sauce w Texas toast veggies and roasted Yukon potatoes. It was delicious!  We shared it and got a small bowl of chowder each and brought cake home. The dinner w lemon squeezed on it was awesome!  I wish there had been more ahi and less crab. The crab was messy and a pain. Oh and I had a big sur golden ale beer. Good stuff too.
Obviously it's my cheat day. So now I'm exhausted and fat. Gotta start tomorrow off better.

Lost track of day number but its TGIF!!

After months and months of wanting to go and not being able to....another friend had extra tickets to see Aerosmith in concert! AND....I actually had some money to buy 2...one for me and one for my partner. So excited!  In lieu of that I went to the gym a little earlier than normal and left a little earlier too. I definitely get done sooner on my own.  Domo, the kid I'm training flaked out again. He keeps saying he's ready and committed to 4 a week but he has flaked out both this week and last. Which are the 2x we've tried to do 4 a week. Once again though....I went anyway. I did fine with food today except I had a Frappuccino to help wake me up and a beer($10 plastic cup of nasty coors or all things! !!).
Concert was fantastic. Got a great parking spot that I didn't have to pay for and seats were okay but good for the price plus we got to sit with friends.
We made a new friend on the way home too. A friend of the friend that sold us the tickets had too much to drink and had the guys behind us hitting on her. I guess she doesn't get out much. She's from carmel w 2 young kids. No way we're we leaving her in salinas to sleep it off in her car w 2 strange guys. So carol drove Jenettes car and I followed and picked carol up once we got to Jenettes house. Oh...and she is married which is why we were asked to help too cuz she wasn't in any condition to say no or fend them off on her own. She thanked us a lot which was nice. But even if I didn't know her and I saw that going on I would still help if need be. Its the right thing to do. Anyway...good times.

Day 8 thru 12 8 think....

So in theory this is the end of week 3 or 4 but not really. I started hitting the pool again 4 weeks ago today. But the rest really didn't fall into place until about 2 and a half weeks ago. The good news is that I can already feel the changes. I'm not sure if they are visible to others yet but I can certainly tell. I think I might be lucky in that as this process takes place, my body seems to want better food anyway AND I have always been able to build muscle easier than most women. I've just never really cared about it that much. I just like the way I feel when I'm fit. It was never about how much muscle I had or what it looked like. I'm not ready to check the scale again but at least I'm not feeling like this is a worthless process.
My left hip about 3 months ago had gotten so painful I considered thr hospital and surgery. But I also didn't want to be stuck at home after surgery and have all the extra weight on me and just end up with more and feel horrible. My hip pain has decreased about 85 to 90 percent! And in such a short amount of time! I'm hoping in another few weeks it will be completely gone.
The shitty part of this whole thing is the heat. Its warm and humid every single day and no waves. Unless I want to drive to santa cruz or down the coast every day then I don't get to surf. Its been 2 weeks since I was in the water last. Its depressing me. Not to mention that with all the sweat from the gym and yoga I don't ever feel like my body cools down enough. It sucks. I miss the cold ocean and waves so much. I'm gonna see about exploring santa cruz soon and making a trip down the coast before summer is over. I gotta keep doing what I'm doing though until the surf is back. Much more fun to catch waves than lift weights but I don't mind it so much when I can do both.
As for eating...I definitely don't process food very well after 5pm. I tried 6pm but it wasn't early enough. My metabolism is just too slow by then. I seem to do fine as long as I'm done eating by 530pm. I can have a few crackers and a lollipop but nothing more after that time. Then my nighttime meds work better too when I have an empty stomache.
I've been going to bikram yoga 3 or 4 days a week and to the gym 4 or 5 days a week plus surfing when I can. I try to take 1 rest day and I do a double workout 2x per week right now. I can't seem to do yoga after the gym though. It about killed me...not to mention the humidity has been horrible. I do much better when I do yoga first and then either the gym or surf after. Not sure why.
Gonna keep pushing. Hoping in 2 more weeks that the results are more visible. Oh! And the one thing I hate.....my body always looses weight through my middle last. Wtf. I gain it evenly over my whole body but as I lose it it's always my arms then legs then middle. Not fair. Especially with all the ab work I do.

Day 6, 7, and 8

Well day 6 was okay. Mom brought home 2 shortbread cookies from her friend for me. She knows they are my favorite. I ate dinner later than normal...630pm. Didnt eat a ton but late enough where my stomache wasn't empty before bed. I swear my metabolism stops at 5pm. So if I eat later than that then my belly isn't empty by bed time.
Went to the gym by myself. Not surprised. When I put the 4th day in there I knew Domo would balk. He hesitated when I said it in the first place so wasn't surprised when I got the text at 10am. Michele I'm sure was very sore and I never saw Natalie. Oh well. I did the work anyway. It was day 4 in a row  of gym and swim.

I went to yoga at 8am. Its the only class they were offering on 4th of july. Very full class but good. I knew it would be my food cheat day. Had dinner late with mom and bro. 630 almost 7. Carol came and we walked the dogs til a little after 6. I ate an enormous bowl of ice cream which made me sick til very late in the night. I think that's part of why I didn't sleep so well. There were enough fireworks that I was up with the dogs at 230am. Then finally fell asleep around 3ish. It was hot in the room and I couldn't open the door cuz of the fireworks.  Ended up snuggling teeny w me to calm him down.
I won't over eat like that again. Plus it confirms my whole eating late theory. I will sleep much better with an empty belly because it will help my meds work better which means better sleep.
Not sure what today will bring. Still feeling over full. Finally pooped but its been quite awhile. I know it sounds bad but its a big part of weight loss. Since my meds stop up I have to take more meds to un do it. But I can't seem to get back on track. I'm trying though. Prob wont eat much now that breakfast is done. Not sure if I'm taking the day off or surfing. Really want to surf but there hasn't been any.

Day 5

Day 5. Its actually been more like 3 or 4 weeks. Maybe even 5 weeks. I started going to yoga 3 or 4 days a week that long ago. I thought for sure I would see results pretty quickly.  But my body kept compensating and justifying for how much I was working out. I work out hard. Always have. So I ate that way too. Now granted, you can be short and weigh 200 pounds and still have very little body fat. But I wouldn't be very agile or flexible at that weight. Again..the big problem is that I'm not hungry but my brain wants me to eat and eat sugar to get the craving to stop even though what it does is make it happen more often.
I did pretty good last night. I had a couple of crackers (3) and a nectarine and a few pretzel chips. I was hoping to get some money yesterday so I can try my 2 lollipops a day thing and see if it works/helps but I guess I'll have to hope it comes today instead.
I worked out hard at the gym for an hour and swam for 45min. I'm starting to feel the difference and I'm sleeping better I think. My hip is still killing me though. I'm also hoping to cut back down the amount of melatonin I take as well as amitriptyline. The melatonin bothers my kidneys and I used to be fine on less amitriptyline as far as sleep went.
The goal is not necessarily a 6 pack but at least some definition in my abs. I have always been able to build muscle and define it pretty easily. I'm hoping my body stays that way. The big thing is getting the weight off of my back and hip so it stops hurting so bad and I can go back to sleeping on my side. Currently,  if I don't sleep on my stomache I wake up in horrible severe pain in my hip, leg and back. If I don't take meds for it its bad enough where most people would go to the hospital for it. I just take a pill and try to calm myself til it starts working. Even just plain Tylenol works sometimes but not well enough for me to go back to sleep until 2 hours later. Sucks.
Day 6 here we go!