Lost track of day number but its TGIF!!

After months and months of wanting to go and not being able to....another friend had extra tickets to see Aerosmith in concert! AND....I actually had some money to buy 2...one for me and one for my partner. So excited!  In lieu of that I went to the gym a little earlier than normal and left a little earlier too. I definitely get done sooner on my own.  Domo, the kid I'm training flaked out again. He keeps saying he's ready and committed to 4 a week but he has flaked out both this week and last. Which are the 2x we've tried to do 4 a week. Once again though....I went anyway. I did fine with food today except I had a Frappuccino to help wake me up and a beer($10 plastic cup of nasty coors or all things! !!).
Concert was fantastic. Got a great parking spot that I didn't have to pay for and seats were okay but good for the price plus we got to sit with friends.
We made a new friend on the way home too. A friend of the friend that sold us the tickets had too much to drink and had the guys behind us hitting on her. I guess she doesn't get out much. She's from carmel w 2 young kids. No way we're we leaving her in salinas to sleep it off in her car w 2 strange guys. So carol drove Jenettes car and I followed and picked carol up once we got to Jenettes house. Oh...and she is married which is why we were asked to help too cuz she wasn't in any condition to say no or fend them off on her own. She thanked us a lot which was nice. But even if I didn't know her and I saw that going on I would still help if need be. Its the right thing to do. Anyway...good times.

Day 8 thru 12 8 think....

So in theory this is the end of week 3 or 4 but not really. I started hitting the pool again 4 weeks ago today. But the rest really didn't fall into place until about 2 and a half weeks ago. The good news is that I can already feel the changes. I'm not sure if they are visible to others yet but I can certainly tell. I think I might be lucky in that as this process takes place, my body seems to want better food anyway AND I have always been able to build muscle easier than most women. I've just never really cared about it that much. I just like the way I feel when I'm fit. It was never about how much muscle I had or what it looked like. I'm not ready to check the scale again but at least I'm not feeling like this is a worthless process.
My left hip about 3 months ago had gotten so painful I considered thr hospital and surgery. But I also didn't want to be stuck at home after surgery and have all the extra weight on me and just end up with more and feel horrible. My hip pain has decreased about 85 to 90 percent! And in such a short amount of time! I'm hoping in another few weeks it will be completely gone.
The shitty part of this whole thing is the heat. Its warm and humid every single day and no waves. Unless I want to drive to santa cruz or down the coast every day then I don't get to surf. Its been 2 weeks since I was in the water last. Its depressing me. Not to mention that with all the sweat from the gym and yoga I don't ever feel like my body cools down enough. It sucks. I miss the cold ocean and waves so much. I'm gonna see about exploring santa cruz soon and making a trip down the coast before summer is over. I gotta keep doing what I'm doing though until the surf is back. Much more fun to catch waves than lift weights but I don't mind it so much when I can do both.
As for eating...I definitely don't process food very well after 5pm. I tried 6pm but it wasn't early enough. My metabolism is just too slow by then. I seem to do fine as long as I'm done eating by 530pm. I can have a few crackers and a lollipop but nothing more after that time. Then my nighttime meds work better too when I have an empty stomache.
I've been going to bikram yoga 3 or 4 days a week and to the gym 4 or 5 days a week plus surfing when I can. I try to take 1 rest day and I do a double workout 2x per week right now. I can't seem to do yoga after the gym though. It about killed me...not to mention the humidity has been horrible. I do much better when I do yoga first and then either the gym or surf after. Not sure why.
Gonna keep pushing. Hoping in 2 more weeks that the results are more visible. Oh! And the one thing I hate.....my body always looses weight through my middle last. Wtf. I gain it evenly over my whole body but as I lose it it's always my arms then legs then middle. Not fair. Especially with all the ab work I do.

Day 6, 7, and 8

Well day 6 was okay. Mom brought home 2 shortbread cookies from her friend for me. She knows they are my favorite. I ate dinner later than normal...630pm. Didnt eat a ton but late enough where my stomache wasn't empty before bed. I swear my metabolism stops at 5pm. So if I eat later than that then my belly isn't empty by bed time.
Went to the gym by myself. Not surprised. When I put the 4th day in there I knew Domo would balk. He hesitated when I said it in the first place so wasn't surprised when I got the text at 10am. Michele I'm sure was very sore and I never saw Natalie. Oh well. I did the work anyway. It was day 4 in a row  of gym and swim.

I went to yoga at 8am. Its the only class they were offering on 4th of july. Very full class but good. I knew it would be my food cheat day. Had dinner late with mom and bro. 630 almost 7. Carol came and we walked the dogs til a little after 6. I ate an enormous bowl of ice cream which made me sick til very late in the night. I think that's part of why I didn't sleep so well. There were enough fireworks that I was up with the dogs at 230am. Then finally fell asleep around 3ish. It was hot in the room and I couldn't open the door cuz of the fireworks.  Ended up snuggling teeny w me to calm him down.
I won't over eat like that again. Plus it confirms my whole eating late theory. I will sleep much better with an empty belly because it will help my meds work better which means better sleep.
Not sure what today will bring. Still feeling over full. Finally pooped but its been quite awhile. I know it sounds bad but its a big part of weight loss. Since my meds stop up I have to take more meds to un do it. But I can't seem to get back on track. I'm trying though. Prob wont eat much now that breakfast is done. Not sure if I'm taking the day off or surfing. Really want to surf but there hasn't been any.

Day 5

Day 5. Its actually been more like 3 or 4 weeks. Maybe even 5 weeks. I started going to yoga 3 or 4 days a week that long ago. I thought for sure I would see results pretty quickly.  But my body kept compensating and justifying for how much I was working out. I work out hard. Always have. So I ate that way too. Now granted, you can be short and weigh 200 pounds and still have very little body fat. But I wouldn't be very agile or flexible at that weight. Again..the big problem is that I'm not hungry but my brain wants me to eat and eat sugar to get the craving to stop even though what it does is make it happen more often.
I did pretty good last night. I had a couple of crackers (3) and a nectarine and a few pretzel chips. I was hoping to get some money yesterday so I can try my 2 lollipops a day thing and see if it works/helps but I guess I'll have to hope it comes today instead.
I worked out hard at the gym for an hour and swam for 45min. I'm starting to feel the difference and I'm sleeping better I think. My hip is still killing me though. I'm also hoping to cut back down the amount of melatonin I take as well as amitriptyline. The melatonin bothers my kidneys and I used to be fine on less amitriptyline as far as sleep went.
The goal is not necessarily a 6 pack but at least some definition in my abs. I have always been able to build muscle and define it pretty easily. I'm hoping my body stays that way. The big thing is getting the weight off of my back and hip so it stops hurting so bad and I can go back to sleeping on my side. Currently,  if I don't sleep on my stomache I wake up in horrible severe pain in my hip, leg and back. If I don't take meds for it its bad enough where most people would go to the hospital for it. I just take a pill and try to calm myself til it starts working. Even just plain Tylenol works sometimes but not well enough for me to go back to sleep until 2 hours later. Sucks.
Day 6 here we go!

Day 2, 3 and 4. Already behind! Day 100+

Well...starting again. I put on 20 pounds over the last year and a half since my car accident. Partly because I haven't had a car so it was hard to get places like the gym and to surf. But also because it was extremely depressing and lastly because I stopped taking diet pills.
I  determined to get back to my fighting weight (140 pounds) without help. Every time I've lost the weight in the last 15 years it was with help. Now I gotta figure out how to do it on my own. Since money has been tight with no vehicle it meant that I couldn't afford my allergy meds or diet pills. Yes it's a good thing to be off of both but the bad thing is that I tend to eat when I'm bored.  Lollipops seem to help especially in the afternoon but it would be nice not to need those either. Yes they are full of sugar but they only have 80 calories and last me an hour and curbs my craving to eat other stuff.
The other piece is that I'm not hungry when I eat a lot of the time. It takes a lot of self control to stop myself. Especially after 5pm when I know metabolism is at its slowest. I'm usually home and tired and my body wants a pick me up so it goes for junk and sugar. This is when the lollipops help the most. Gonna try to just have 2 a day from 5pm on for 30 days and then try to cut them out from there.
Its crazy how sugar can take over your life. I also think I need more fiber to help with the sugar. I heard that the sugar craving may be in part due to lack of fiber and since my meds make constipation a problem it may be making it even worse than that. Gonna try bran muffins and see if that helps too.
Okay. Here we go. Day 3. Keep up the good work!
Oh...I should mention how hard I workout. Surfing, yoga, swimming, weight room. I workout intensely for about 2 hours a day or more sometimes. I am not sitting on my ass doing nothing. I am currently the fattest person at yoga and it Pisses me off. You would never know that I've been there for 7 and a half years. It looks like I've been there 7 days!

What you don't see...m

What you didn't see from yesterday's food intake was the costco frozen yogurt, the 3 lollipops, and the handful of nasty easter candy plus the 10 crackers I had. Crazy right? Well its actually an improvement for me as of lately. Thats the problem. I'm hoping tracking it will help. I'm not sure if it's bored or depressed or craving causing it. I've never had my sugar intake this way. I have a feeling it's also thst since I took stimulants out my body is trying to replace it. Normally I would exercise and it would go away but since my transportation has been hit or miss I get stuck at home and stressed and then I eat sugar.

Today's food intake:

Breakfast: coffee, 2 trader Joe's pop tarts and 1 lollipop and an orange.
Lunch: goat cheese, crackers,  and an apple.
Dinner: sausage, homemade pretzel and green beans.
Snack: protein bar (Luna) and fruit

Although yesterday was better I know it has to change way more still. It'll be the first time in my adult life that I've changed it on my own. It all started with my knee surgery and went from there. Since I couldn't exercise like I wanted to and the doctors wanted the extra weight off my knee and I had no transportation. ..I found that metabolife worked for me. That was almost 20 years ago now. Every time I've gone off of it, I gain it back. Every time I go back on it, I lose the weight. I'm not even hungry. Just my body asking for what it thinks is missing...may e vitamin deficiency?  I know its not a protein thing which is what so many articles claim is the problem. I take iron, magnesuim, zinc, and b complex too.

Here goes today!

Starting over.....again

Well....here I am again. Posting another blog that I probably won't follow through with. Guess I'll start with how much things have changed.
Going on my 3rd month of being kicked out of my own home. Big fight in december and carols solution was to have me go back and forth between my moms and home when the kids aren't there. Made things harder not easier. No one else sacrificed anything but me.
Second. Finally got permission to start my own team! Yay! Except I have no idea how long it will take nor how to do it. But I'm gonna make it work somehow.
Third. I owe a bunch of bills and no money. Truck sucked up 2500 thus far which was the last of my settlement money. After next week I gotta hope that unemployment kicks in.
4th thing. I'm heavy and sick and in pain. I put on prob 25 or more pounds and it needs to come off now! Ive never been able to without diet pills. About a year and a half ago I finally got off diet pills and zyrtec d which has a stimulant in it. I have been on both for about 10 years. Same thing happened the last time I went off of them.
Its not that I'm hungry. Some of it I think is that with the meds I'm on my body is craving something to clean out my system. Sugar seems to be the thing it wants most. Even though I don't eat processed sugar that's what it wants. I'm giving myself til the end of may to take it off but I need to track what I eat. Its still calories in and out but I need to go back to way Way less after 5pm. Its the only thing that has worked before. Not sure how my body will react without the stimulants to help it along. But its gotta change. For now, this blog will be my tracking system. I'm not willing to weigh myself yet but I know that in 2 weeks I mustve put on at least 5 more pounds. My shorts BARELY fit now. Not happy.

Breakfast was 1 pop tart and 2 handfuls of sweet and salty trail mix and 5 small size peanut butter cups. The single bite ones not the regular. See what I mean?

Lunch will be 1/2 container mac and cheese and an apple.

Dinner is orange chicken and either green beans or peas...not sure how to do it early tho cuz practice goes til 530 or 545 and I don't get home until after 7pm. Guess I will figure it out.